The sky is falling...

I haven't updated in a while because I haven't had the heart to do so. In mid-April, Mark and I began discussing the possibilities of a separation. At first it was difficult to believe. I mean, we've been together for 10 years and have a child together. I can't imagine what life will bring without him. One thing is certain (and that we can both agee) is that we definitely need a change. I have been really isolated here in San Antonio. Since I worked from home, I didn't have very much exposure to the outside world. Mark works opposite shifts, so we have not been able to socialize very often. I have absolutely no family here, so it has been a very lonely existence.

I went to Atlanta on vacation with this weighing heavily on my mind.

I wasn't sure what to say or even whether to broach the subject with my family. After all, if we were able to work everything out, I didn't want my family's opinion of Mark to be colored by challenges that we were able to overcome. He is a wonderful guy. I never want him to feel less than welcome with my family. As it turned out, while I was there, the other shoe fell. I found out that I was soon to be without a job. This forced action. Stay in San Antonio, working full time, coming home to an empty house? Move to Atlanta, work full time, but have family and friends for support and interaction? I have been working towards getting myself re-located to Atlanta. I have taken 4 very challenging exams in the hopes of securing a teaching position on a provisional certification. I have applied for several positions without any bites, yet. I am so very sad right now. My last day working was June 30. July 1, I was itching to log on to the home office computer to get my work done, and finally ended up leaving the house so I could get it off my mind. It's just as well, since my former employer called while I was out to ask me questions about where things were saved on the server. I wasn't home to take the call. I am confident that with time and distance these fellings will pass. I am now having to get motivated to pack. Sorting through and separating our stuff is so difficult. I have to make decisions not only on what I need, but also what I am willing to leave behind forever, in case Mark decides not to join me. Change is painful and difficult, but I think that in the end things are going to work out for the best, whatever the best may be. Watch this space, there are giong to be alot of updates coming....

the whirlwind trip to OKC

Logan and I drove up to Oklahoma City to visit my mom last weekend. Since it was a quick turn around, we packed every possible minute with activity. Samantha and Alex came over for breakfast on Saturday. Alex, of course brought Vivian. It was really cool to see the interaction between Vivian and Logan. What one wanted, so did the other, so Mom ended up with both on her lap. Logan was uncharacteristically snuggly. Please note that both babies were holding their blankets. Mom must have been roasting!

Mom bought the grandkids presents. Logan got a musical cookie jar/shape sorter. Would you like to hear one of the cookie hape songs? Funny, I can hear them even when the toy is put away--thanks Mom! The real hit of the party was the SitNSpin that Mom got for Vivian. In addition to the two little ones, all of the big kids tried it, too. I think that they used to make SitNSpins larger!

Mom and I usually end up shopping when we get together, both fun and mundane. It's funny how that way. Logan likes shopping. He gets to look at new things and complete strangers come up to tell him how cute he is! He always seems to have something to say these days! The trip to WalMart was the last stop on a very long day of visiting and shopping, so I am very fortunate to have a mostly happy boy! We went up to see my friend Heather and her new baby who was born in December. I don't remember Logan being so squishy. She was very sweet and smiled alot. Logan busied himself by rearranging her Easter decorations. I hope we get invited back! We then rushed down to pick up some things that I had left at the company house. The to Kohl's, where they were having a great sale--I scored a really cute sweater for $6!! Finally, WalMart for household cleaning stuff. All this after brunch with the Sibs. Logan was asleep 15 minutes after we got home--only awake long enough to eat dinner.

Sunday morning, before we hit the road, we went to Outdoor World so Shauna could pick up a chair and mom could work on her camping supply list for their trip to the Grand Canyon. I went along for the ride just because I like to shop, even if I am not planning to purchase anything. Logan and Vivian also enjoyed their trip to the store. It was blustery and chilly, so I could not resist a really cute red sweater that was half-priced. The good news is that it is a classic style that will still be in style next year during the 2 weeks that pass for winter in San Antonio!

Unfortunately, we had to hit the road immediately following the trip to Outdoor World. At least the trip that took 9 1/2 hours up only took 8 hours back. Note to self--avoid Dallas at rush hour at ALL COSTS! We will return for sure, but I think that we will have to plan it when we can spend just a little bit more time.

he walks (well, he runs, actually)

Logan began walking a couple of weeks ago. As you can imagine, almost all of the pictures that I have tried to take are blurry. Let's be honest..most of the pictures that we tried to take of him before he started walking were blurry! He now zips around the house, collecting treasure and hiding it everywhere. Trouble is, he won't answer me when I ask him where he has put things (like the remote). He doesn't respond to water torture, as he rather enjoys the water and will do anything to prolong his aqueous adventures.

One of his favorite activities is taking his toys for walks/runs around the house. We have to now watch our step when we walk into a room where he ahs been, as he tends to set up booby traps. You should hear him giggle when one of us windmills our arms to avoid falling. OK, I'm not sure where he gets that!

He has also gotten very good at crawling under things to retreive objects that have fallen. Now he has exponentially increased the number of places where he can hide his booty!

In response, I have begun excercising to increase my fitness level and stamina. I run, usually, up to 3 miles. I have been considering a triethlon. I now have these funny shoes, we'll see if they help. I got them at Ross for a very good price--they are supposed to be specially-made for running.

I also got a one-piece bathing suit (which I will not demonstrate just yet) and some funny goggles. Since I wear contacts, I haven't done any serious swimming in years. Yesterday, I swam 150 meters and ran 2 miles. I can tell you right now--if I do sign up for a triethlon, I have a LONG way to go! By the way, I wonder if it is advisable to actually own a bicycle before signing up??

Anyway, if these don't work, I can always put them on to scare intruders!!! If they happen to fall down laughing, at least they will be within reach so that I can kick them!

and a birthday...

For Logan's first birthday, we took him and got some professional portraits done. When he is at home giggling and playing I am apparently not allowed to bring out the camers. Logan turns into the "Very Serious Boy." Somehow, the photographer managed several poses with smiles. As you can probably guess, I ended up ordering several poses with smiles! This is one of my favorites, since this is what he does to all stuffed animals within reach. See how cuddly he is?? (now is your opportunity to coo...)

Later that day, we let him eat cake! It started rather delicately. He dipped a finger here and swirled some frosting there. But once he discovered that the fugurines could be removed from the cake--the game was on! He used his figurines as tools to scoop up more and more frosting! The glob at the right side of the picture is actually a Fisher Price Little People Farmer! Pretty amazing, huh?!

Remember that sweet, cuddly, precious child who loves stuffed

animals? His evil twin appears when the cake is taken away!! In fact, this is the twin that appears when the Little Prince is told that he can't have exactly what he wants at exactly the instant that he wants it. We're working on that. Fortunately, Rosemary doesn't drop her baby off very often!

January brought us lots of visitors...

Mid-January saw two of our very favorite people passing through San Antonio. Marie and Ronnie went on a cruise that ported in Galveston. Before they went back to Idaho, they stopped in for a few days. We were so very happy to see them and spend time with them and their visit passed so very fast!

Of course we went to the Alamo and the River Walk. We really enjoyed it and had great weather, if it was a little cool (it was still a darn sight warmer than it was in Idaho!). Hopefully, they will return soon!

The weekend following Marie and Ronnie's visit, my mother came to visit. Get this--she brought her knitting! As if Logan would allow her to hold something so colorful and fun and not share! Her trip wasn't nearly long enough, but we squeezed in alot of stuff! Logan was dragged to the Mission San Jose and to eat puffy tacos. We lugged him to the Alamo and had lunch at the Riverwalk. He was pretty wiped out by the time her visit was over--we lost count of how many people asked us if we realized that he had thrown a shoe! (yes, we realized it, yes, we caught the shoe, no we didn't think it was that important to put the shoe back on!)

The Visit, Part 3 -- hanging out

Logan does not sit well for "posed" pictures. At least in this family picture, we all look happy, if not focused! For those of you who have never tried to pose a family picture with an 11 month old baby (or for those who have forgotten) cruise over to my Flickr gallery to see the progression from bad to worse!

To his credit, Bonnie, Dad, Logan and I had spent the day at the zoo and then lunch at Red Robin. He hadn't had a nap and he was still the mostly happy baby that I know.

Here his fatigue is evident. I didn't realize it, but I got sunburned! I still can't get used to the weather here. Just 4 days after Christmas, the high was in the high 70's and sunny! We had a really good time, though. It was breezy and warm. The morning started off cool (high 50's). Logan had his first taste of hot dog--he approves!

If you can catch him unawares, he is much happier. Here, we were hanging out in the kitchen eating pizza (which he loves, by the way). Please notice how he sits with his foot up on the platform of his high chair. I swear that child is a teenager in training!

We spent alot of time in the kitchen playing cards. We played alot of Phase 10, where Dad was pleased to be able to anhiliate me frequently. On the last night of their stay, we determined that it was the chair because I stole his seat and wiped the table with him!!!

Here we tried again to take a good picture of him with Mark. This is as good as it got!

If we don't stop aiming that blasted camera at him, he's going to take his lion and leave!!!

Bonnie and Dad have gone and they are missed. We are looking forward to their return in July! Logan will be 18 months and I will be, um...well--older (40).

The Visit, Part 2 -- Sea World

The day after Christmas, we all went to Sea World to see the Miracle of Christmas protrayed by Shamu. There were alot of people there, but not so many that we weren't able to sit at all the shows. We got there early enough to be able to see them all. The weather was perfect! I got Dad on what he saya is the last roller coaster ride of his life. Thankfully, we didn't wait in line at all. We walked up and got directly on the ride. Otherwise, he may have changed his mind before he got on!

Logan's favorite is the aquarium. He really loves

to watch the fish. Mark's favorite was the beluga/white sided dolphin show because there is so much to see.

My favorite is petting and feeding the dolphins. They are always fun to see. Logan used to like the dolphins, too, but this time some were feeling frisky and they splashed us. Now he thinks that dolphins suck!

Because we were on the move from early in the

day, Logan didn't get his usual naps in. By 4:00

or so, he was worn out! Of course, being King of the Power Nap, he was up and refreshed after about 10 minutes.